Urrrrgghhhhhh the Oscars were last night which means that, as predicted by, like, everybody, Slumdog Millionaire won practically everything. Nice job, England and India. And good for Danny Boyle, who looks exactly like Morrissey. Mike and Vanessa had a little Oscar shindig at their place, which was a lot of fun (until I woke up this morning with what must be a torn stomach lining). Here's a quick re-cap of our night:
- The Oscar show was really trying hard not to suck this year! Good for them, even if they didn't completely succeed. Grouping all the similar categories together was smart and (mostly) well done, and having the acting awards presnted by 5 past winners was pretty cool. Hugh Jackman's opening music number was brilliant and funny, even though all signs pointed to "indulgent." Even the red-carpet stuff was actually not completely offensive, but merely laughable. What sucked was that it still, as it always does, had the stink of big Hollywood bosses trying too hard to not come across as out of touch. The montages, as usual, were not necessarily informative or well cut together (with the exception of the BEST PICTURE montage). And while the changes mentioned above were great innovations, they were still often carried out in a way that suggests that the people behind their execution were still of the stale, clumsy old guard. Cues happened at awkward moments, and the flow was often disrupted for the sake of clinging to some sense of out-dated traditionalism. But I'm nit-picking here. In their defense, it must be a huge, daunting task to actually pull off the Oscars without a hitch. It's a live show, so I guess they did their best. Overall, it was enjoyable in a way that past Oscar telecasts were not.
- I brought over some Delissio frozen pizzas, which, when prepared correctly, are absolutely delicious (hence the name). Too bad I'm an idiot and refuse to follow the directions on the box. If it wasn't for Mike's vast expertise in the frozen pizza arts, we would have been stuck only eating the other 84 things that were available. To name a few: chips (various), popcorn (delicious stove-top AND Smartfood), Smarties, Rice Crispie Squares (basically the best food there is ever hands down no erasies), a really smart shrimp dip thing, jube-jubes, beer, wine, and a glass of water. When we finally rolled up to our apartment, I was unable to fit through the door frame and had to sleep in the hall.
- Some people made some jokes while the Oscars were on and they were funny jokes. Like for example, we made fun of this one English Slumdog winner who started thanking random people from a list, and it seemed that all the names he gave must have been made-up. So wee were like, "Morbo Slazdon, Chompy R. Figgles, Rowena Blingo-Blongo..." Ha ha, right? Well, I guess you had to be there... Oh, and a joke was made about how when all 5 previous Best-Supporting Actresses came out and how they were, like, going to hold all their Oscars together and be like, I dunno, Power Rangers or something. Really, really funny jokes. Real clever....
- Barbara Walters has fine-tuned her question-asking ability over the years... She is now like a robot that is designed specifically to find out what kinda stuff you are sensitive to and then to make you cry like a baby (somebody should actually program a computer to do this for an art project... have a computer assess certain personal info from the user with a series of questions, and then finally point the questions right at the tear-making parts of their brain. It would probably be on the cover of the Arts section of your local paper, for sure. anyways...). I was out of the room at one point, but when I got back, everybody told me that she basically came right out and plainly asked Hugh Jackman if he was gay. And he never said no... And then he teared up when she asked him if his father, the strict disciplinarian, was now proud of Hugh Jackman. She's like a vampire that feeds on the fragile emotions of the most insecure people around: Hollywood actors. Good for her!
- Ben Stiller was really funny. Only, I didn't even get the Joaquin Phoenix reference until someone explained it to me! I didn't even know that Mr. Phoenix had a freak-out on the Letterman show recently. And I found it funny nonetheless! That means that Ben Stiller is a comic genius for being able to entertain both those of us who have a sense of humour, and those that read perezhilton.com (no, I'm not going to provide you with a link. That's gross).
Did you watch the Oscars? At a friend's place with a bowl of Nachos, or alone with your 17 cats? Tell me all about your 81st Annual Oscar experience!
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