GO JOE

I kind of started losing that giddy excited feeling about all of the big summer remakes and movie versions of treasured childhood IPs around the time I saw the first trailer for X-Men: The Last Stand, and it was gone entirely about 10 minutes into the actual film. It's a common malady, expectation fatigue I guess. I'd been let down too many times. To be a fan of something nerdy like the X-Men is to invest part of your own self-worth into the thing itself. I mean, when I was a kid I was a huge fan of Wayne Gretzky, but to be a fan of his is different. He was clearly the best, everyone knew it. If he had an off game and got the shit beaten out of him by Neil Broten, fans of Marcel Dionne or Theoren Fleury or whoever the hell wouldn't look at you with that raised eyebrow, that "you cheer for this dude” look, that same silent look my girlfriend gave me 10 minutes into Brett Ratner’s shitty X-Men movie.
“Look, the original comic was better, you have to believe me, it wasn’t this stupid-“ – never again. Never again would I have to mewl and equivocate and bitch and whine about how badly they screwed up some part of my childhood cultural experience. If I didn’t get excited, I couldn’t be let down. If I didn’t freak out in front of my wife when I saw a trailer, I wouldn’t have to explain myself six months later walking all sad out of a theatre. It’s worked for me so far.
But.
They found it.
The last thing. My last childhood love. They bought the rights and they’ve made the movie and I am freaking out, and I’ve told my wife. GI Joe.
Snake Eyes is going to be in a movie. I am going to be so incredibly disappointed. And I don’t even care.