HAPPY FAMILY DAY! We hope that all of you with families are thinking about them or spending time with them. And for those of you that don't or aren't, well here's a blog post just for you, from your surrogate family here at thesubstream.com. Now, go clean your room. Also, why haven't you done anything with your life?
Moving on...
Holy crap, only 6 more sleeps 'til the Oscars! That's pretty exciting. I've put my winter blahs on hold, I've been out to see a million movies I wouldn't otherwise ever give the time of day (I'm looking at you, Rachel Getting Married) and I've been scouring the internet for some decent Oscar-shaped cookie cutters with which I will make Oscar-shaped cookies while watching Joan Rivers and her daughter set a poor example for my species on la carpet rouge during the Oscar pre-show. Oscar, Oscar, Oscar! Oscar.
This week we were going to bring you a bunch of boring videos on choosing the proper page fasteners for your script, but I put my foot down. I was real firm. Not on my watch, nuh-uh, not during Oscar Week. No way. I said, "Guys, come on. It's the Oscars for crying out loud. It's like movie-geek christmas...". Then, after rehearsing that for an hour in front of the mirror, I got ready to send Mike a text about it but as it turns out, he was already busy making his Oscar picks and planning on delivering his predictions and guesses to you, his adoring public, through a special video series to be presented during thesubstream.com's nightly news broadcast.
Staring tomorrow and continuing DAILY (yes, DAILY) all the way through Friday, we'll be bringing you our special Oscar Week picks and predictions so that you can finally WIN that Oscar pool at work. Just think about it... No-one will ever tease you again for being so out of touch with pop-culture, you loser. And won't it feel good to show up all those know-it-alls at the office who seem so obsessed with politics and the latest human-rights whatevers? I mean, being 'up' on current events is fine and dandy, but really, these days, all that matters when you bump into someone at the water cooler is whether you think Hugh Jackman will be hilarious or not. And whether Mickey Rourke actually deserves to win, considering he looks a bit like a mutant. And winning the Oscar pool will probably get you a raise and a promotion, too... Everyone will want to talk to you and be your friend. That cute guy in marketing might even invite you to go watch an upcoming Raptors game with him down at O'Houlihans Chuckle-House. After winning your Oscar pool, the world will be yours for the taking. ALL BECAUSE YOU'RE SO OSCAR SMART. Or at least you will be, once you watch all our edutational and infomating Oscar Week videos.
So stay tuned to thesubstream.com throughout the week and listen carefully to our resident Oscar expert, Mike "The Greek" Cameron. He'll put you on the right track as you make your Oscar picks. And if guessing the outcome of things is against your religion, then at least he'll make you laugh, as he has been known to be a little bit entertaining from time to time.
As for me, I've got some Oscar picks of my own to make (If you can't tell, I'm picking my nose! ha ha). And maybe I should finally get around to seeing Frost/Nixon or Milk. I wonder how many families are out at the theatres today? Only one way to find out, I guess..
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